Why I Don't Do Restaurant Reviews

It's come to my attention that people are somewhat baffled about why I don't do restaurant reviews.

Well, it's simple: I am not welcome in local restaurants, to judge by the actions of staff.

It's easy for me to think "oh, I just walked into a really crappy place with lousy service"... if that happens to me one time out of ten. If I walk into ten places and they all give lousy service and put food before me that tastes like a bottle of dish-soap, I figure that ten out of ten is statistically indicative and that since the places remain in business, either the majority of other customers like soapy food and crappy service, or the soap and scowling is personally directed at me and everyone else is getting service with a smile and tasty grub.

So, given that every restaurant in the Aspen Hill area into which I have walked has served me anything from crap to violence (whether from staff or from customers who seem to think that staff won't mind), I presume that if I review the places honestly based on only my experience, I won't be giving the same reports that someone other than me would give. Rather than get written off as someone who lies or has no sense of taste nor sensibilities, I just don't write any reviews other than "the food may look good and the floors may be clean, but the staff are violent maniacs and the customers are no better". That's kind of one-sided and so I don't bother.

Then again, if your criteria for restaurants is "they don't serve Thomas Hardman", you'll love every food joint here in Aspen Hill.